In The Closet
by MissMoony97
Summary: Remus is in 5th year and has many secrets not even the Marauders know about... Can they help him before it's too late? Eventually Sirius/Remus, rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**In The Closet. **

**Rated: M you have been warned. **

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I owned the rights to the Marauders I don't. All rights to JK Rowling. **

**Chapter 1 – My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark. **

Remus Lupin is supposed to be on his prefect duties, of course you would expect a good boy like Remus to stick to the rules but that wasn't the case. Remus is sat on an old wooden chair in the 5th floor abandoned classroom, strictly no students were allowed in there. But being a prefect was a great advantage in getting in places normal students weren't allowed. The young man stretched and yawned, brushing his small pale hand through his messy golden hair. Remus is not what you would call typically good looking but his golden hair had a silky appearance, his amber eyes had a glow to them which thanks to the wolf in him almost completely lit up when he was angry or near his transformation day. His face id pale and tired looking, scars littered every inch of him but this gave him a 'edgy' look which no one could deny attractive. He is only short, 5ft 6 inches and not seeming to grow and his tiny frame seemed to perfectly match his small height.

Remus stood up and looked at his watch, 11pm, one more hour until he can finish his 'rounds' yet Remus had not moved from the empty classroom all night. He pulled out a small rolled up joint, lighting it and taking in the distinctive aroma of gillyweed. He inhaled and smiled as the smoke filled the room. What would people think? Remus 'goody' Lupin smoking up in an empty classroom, not even his friends knew and Remus liked that, it was his own little secret.

There was a lot of things the Marauders didn't know about Remus. They don't know he sneaks out every Wednesday night to meet up with random men in Hogsmede for a fuck, they don't know how guilty he felt after and how he sits in the showers carving cuts into his arms, or how he tried that muggle drug 'Crystal Meth' or whatever the name was and had the best night of his life.

Remus finished smoking his joint and felt reasonable calm, stubbing out the flame on the old wooden table. Remus walked out the classroom, quietly giggling to himself he pulled the sleeves of his old worn out jumper down. Sure he had a lot of scars, mostly from the full moon but he just knew that if any of the marauders saw the bright red straight cuts on his arm they would know it wasn't from the full moon.

Laughing off his deep thoughts Remus walked down the corridor, slighting humming to himself as he went. He had this weird feeling someone was following him. He heard a scrape of a shoe against the stone flooring and turned around quickly, his breathing hitched and his eyes wide.

"Hello, who's there?" Shouted Remus, his amber eyes darting around in fear.

Out of the shadow a figure appeared, his long blonde hair stood out easily in the dark night, his piercing blue eyes so cold and lifeless. He was very tall, almost a whole foot taller than Remus and bigger too. Heavily muscled and strong, even though his personality was ugly his face and body got every girl in Hogwarts hot, well every girl and Remus that is.

"Lucius, what are you doing here? I thought your rounds were on the ground floor" Remus asked, trying to sound stoned.

Lucius smiled and rubbed the back of his head, he slowly walked toward Remus and looked down at him.

"Well, little Lupin I decided to come and see you, you see I've been hearing things about you" Lucius laughed.

Remus looked up at the other man, his heart pounding in his chest. Did he know about his problem? Was he going to kill me? Remus started to get visibly panicked and started to bite his already short nails. Lucius looked at him with a look Remus wasn't sure about.

"I've heard you're a little queer, you love to get fucked like the little worthless whore you are" Lucius spoke darkly, licking his lips and smirked.

"No, I'm not, I'm straight I swear" Remus stuttered, tears starting to pool around his eyes.

Lucius shook his head and grabbed Remus by the arm, flinging him into the deserted classroom Remus was smoking in a few minutes ago. As soon as Remus hit the wall Lucius was pressed up against him, breathing heavily into his neck.

"I'll keep your secret if you promise not to scream" Lucius laughed darkly and turned Remus around. Pushing his face hard into the wall, causing his lip to split. Remus knew was going to happen and started to cry, and tried with all his might to push away from Lucius' touch.

"I said shut the fuck up, you little faggot" Lucius whispered and pulled Remus back by his hair, slamming his face back down onto the wall again. Remus cried out as he felt his nose break, still trying to push away.

Lucius pulled down his pants and took out his hard member, then swiftly pulling down Remus' skinny jeans and boxers.

"Mhm, you have a great ass Lupin, at least your good for something" Lucius laughed harshly and spat on his hand, rubbing his saliva over his cock.

Without warning Lucius pushed into Remus, the pain was too much for Remus to handle and he screamed out, tears running freely down his face. The pain wasn't making him cry, it was the fact he loved every bit of pain and humiliation Lucius was giving him, how hard his own dick was at the feeling of Lucius penetrating him.

"That's right Lupin, you know you like me fucking your worthless ass" Lucius grunted in between thrusts.

"Ah yes, yes I do" Remus cried out, his own cock throbbing so painfully against the cold stone wall.

Lucius picked up his pace and fucked Remus so hard his face was get grazed against the wall, without warning Lucius came in Remus, and at the same time Remus cried out his own sweet release. Lucius pulled out and smiled, putting his clothes back on and moving towards the door. Before leaving he turned around and faced Remus, who was trying but failing to get his jeans up, blood was pouring from his nose and his face was badly cut and bruised.

"I'll see you again Lupin" Lucius winked and walked away, leaving Remus alone in the room.

Remus stood up after finally getting his jeans back on, it hurt so much but in a good way. He walked towards the door after casting a cleaning spell to clean the blood and semen on the floor and walked out. What just happened? Why did he like it? He shook his head and run his hand through his hair, checking his watch, damn it was past midnight he better get back.

Remus walked steadily back to the dormitory, thinking over what happened again and again. By the time he got in to comfort of the common room he knew what Lucius said was true, he was a worthless little cock whore and always will be. He just wanted to get in and shower, so he could wash the guilt of himself but unfortunately Sirius and James were sat up waiting for him.

He looked at them and weakly smiled, trying to ignore the faces of shock.

"Fucking hell Moony, what happened, who did this?" James shouted as he rushed over to him, Sirius just behind.

"I'll fucking kill whoever did this Moony, just they wait" Sirius spoke darkly and Remus knew if given the chance Sirius would follow through on his threat.

"Thanks for the concern guys, but it isn't terrible exciting. A bludger got out again and hit my face" Remus lied smoothly.

James looked at Sirius and they communicated through freaky best friend face movements. After a few minutes James looked back towards Remus. "Alright mate, but get yourself sorted, looks like your nose is bust" he spoke softly.

"Must have been one fucking angry bludger" Sirius commented, his face still filled with anger.

"Haha yes I guess it was" Remus replied softly, waving to the boys as he walked towards the boys showers.

As soon as he opened the door to the bathroom tears started to flow freely, Remus just about held back a sob before he locked the door and put a silencing spell on it. He fell to the floor crying into his hands, his knee's tucked up in the foetal position. He cried for what seemed hours, then walked towards the shower and turned it on, slowly peeling of his clothes he stepped into the shower, hissing as the warmth hit his battered body. He washed the dried blood of himself and washed his hair, then reached down into the drain, where a razor blade hid. He looked at the sharp metal object, smiling at it he placed in on his wrist, pushing down her made one deep cut, the blood started to pool our and run down his arm.

Remus continued to cut his arm until there was not a patch of un harmed skin left, the blood loss was making him feel a bit dizzy so he sat down against the cold flooring. "That's right Remus, your worthless" he spoke softly to himself…

**MissMoony97- Thanks for reading, please leave a review! Makes me more motivated to continue writing! **

**Next chapter will be up this week**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, thank you so much for the review ifixedthebifrost, means a lot! Here is the next chapter, please again review guys! – MissMoony97. **

**Chapter 2 – The Applause. **

Remus work up the night morning, his body aching and his eyes tired, almost like he just went through a full moon. He sat up and yawned, making sure his pyjama sleeves were covering his cuts. He cut pretty badly last night and several deep cuts were etched into his already scarred skin. He stood out of bed and shivered as his feet came in contact with the cold stone floors, he never did fully understand why the floor was stone in the dorm rooms, carpet would have been far more suitable.

"Morning Moony, fuck your face still looks like you had a fight with a hippogriff" Sirius spoke in a concerned tone. Remus stuck out his tongue and walked to the bathroom. After a considerable amount of time trying to cover the bruises on his face Remus went down into the common room, he waved as he saw Lilly Evans in the corner of the room, a book in her hands.

"Remus over here" She called, her green eyes full of worry. Remus walked over trying to ignore the whispers of 'what's up with Lupin's face?' and took a seat next to her.

Lilly Evans is a beautiful girl, her long fiery red hair, her bright green eyes and her curvaceous shaped body. Remus understood why James chased her for all them years, thankfully for him he wouldn't have to hear James complain to him anymore as they have been dating for some months now.

"What is wrong with your face Rem, it looks sore" Lilly spoke softly, her voice etched with concern.

"Haha, urm a bludger, nothing to worry about" Remus laughed as he rubbed his hair.

Lilly didn't look satisfied with the answer but decided not to press the issue any further. They sat on the sofa talking until James, Sirius and Peter appeared. James walked over to Lilly and kissed her on the cheek.

"Morning baby, I see you have seen the state of Remus' face" James laughed, rubbing Remus' hair with his hand. Remus shoot him a glare and continued to read his book. Sirius walked over and sat next to him.

"You feeling better today Rem?" Sirius asked kindly, his grey eyes twinkling. Remus looked up from his book and smiled, he nodded his head and said "Yes, thank you Siri".

"Was wondering if you wanted to do something today, get you out for a bit" Sirius asked, looking thoughtfully at Remus. Remus shut his book and rubbed his chin, standing up and stretching he said "Yeah, where should be go? Let's ask Peter".

Sirius stood up and grabbed Remus by the arm before he could make it to Peter, pulling him into the corner of the room. Remus hissed in pain as Sirius pulled on his cuts, trying hard to not show it was hurting him.

"What was that for Padfoot, for Christ sake" Remus whispered angrily, pulling his arm out of Sirius' grip.

Sirius shoot him a worried glance and asked "Why did you make a pain sound, did that bludger get your arm too?". Remus stuttered and started to bite his nails, walking away from Sirius in a rush. Sirius ran after him and grabbed his arm again just as Remus reached the boys dorm room.

"Ow, for fuck sake Sirius, get off" Remus shouted, trying to push the dark haired man off.

"Show me your arm.." Sirius demanded, his eyes dark with anger and fear.

Remus walked completely into the dorm and sat on the bed, Sirius following after putting a locking charm on the door. Remus crossed his legs and lent his head in his hands, and that's when it happened. He started to cry, first a few tears which then turned into loud sobs. Sirius wrapped his arms around the crying boy and soothed him the best he could, running his hands through the smaller boys hair.

"Rem, tell me what's wrong, please trust me" Sirius spoke calmly, as he moved away from Remus so he could see his face. Remus stopped crying and looked up at Sirius. Sirius really is very beautiful, his perfectly sculptured face, chiselled jaw bone and distinctive cheek bones. His lips are full and kissable and his light grey eyes held so much mystery. He towered over Remus height wise and was more muscular too. Remus couldn't help but feel at ease with Sirius, so he said it.

"Where to start? I'm gay, and I know this for sure as I have been meeting up with some guys occasionally in Hogsmead" Remus spoke quickly.

Sirius jumped away from Remus and stood up, pacing around the room with a face of shock.

"So your gay, right, so what? Doesn't bother me Rem.. But meeting up with guys, what do you mean by that?" Sirius asked, walking towards Remus and sitting on the bed opposite.

Remus bit his lip and sighed. "You promise me this will stay between us?".

"Yes, of course it will Moony" Sirius replied. Remus took a deep breath and brushed his hair back from his face.

"So, urm.. On Wednesday nights I go to the Hogshead and rent a room. Urm, fuck this is awkward.. Okay I get fucked by random guys for fun, happy?" Remus blurted out. His eyes darting to anywhere in the room that wasn't Sirius. Sirius looked at him and then stood up angrily, walking to the door and back he punched the wall next to Remus' bed. Remus jerked back a little and shakily stood up, walking towards Sirius.

"I'm sorry, don't hate me" Remus spoke softly, his voice trembling.

Sirius stared into Remus' amber eyes and whispered "I don't hate you, but I'm a little fucking annoyed, you could have been killed for Merlins sake".

Remus bit his lip and pulled on his sleeves, walking back towards his bed he sat down with a sigh.

"I know, it's careless and stupid, I'm stupid" Remus sighed and pulled up his sleeves, revealing lines of deep cuts in his wrist. Sirius gasped and walked towards Remus, sitting on the bed and pulling him into his arms.

"You're not stupid Remus John Lupin, you could never be that" Sirius spoke, rubbing Remus' back and pulling him in closer to his chest.

"How long?" Sirius asked, his eyes full of pain and guilt. Remus pulled away a little and wiped a few stray tears away from his eyes. "A while, well a few years but only this bad recently" Remus replied.

"So, why do you do it? It's not good for you" Sirius asked, his hand grabbing Remus' wrist and examining the cuts closely. Remus looked up into Sirius' eyes, and he felt something. A twinge in his heart that made him feel guilty. Guilty for what? Hurting Sirius, but why would he feel that way?

"I don't know, I just do it" Remus whispered and then lent in and pressed his lips against Sirius's. Sirius's eyes went wide and he pushed Remus away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand he ran out the room.

"Fuck" Remus shouted as he laid down onto his bed. I've really fucked things up now…

**Thank you for reading, please leave a review as it makes me have that fuzzy feeling inside.. I will try and get the next chapter up by next week! – MissMoony97**

**Btw: How do you like the plot so far? **


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